My flatmates and the ant infestifation

You have a large ant infestifation [sic]

Anonymous handwritten note – Sarah’s handwriting – left on a sheet of kitchen roll outside my door, where I thought I’d left my bike, in all caps:

To Will:
Stop cleaning under your cupboard, try cleaning inside your cupboard. You have a large ant infestifation
[sic] which is spreading dramatically around the house.

Take action now b4 we have you evicted! (or we are all evicted!)

I went inside the kitchen, took the two lost ants in my hand and put them outside. Twenty minutes later, my bike had been put back where I’d left it.

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